Moonlake is the Founder of Unlocking ADHD, a late diagnosed ADHDer and parent of a young adult with ADHD. A mother of two, she has lived in Malaysia, USA, Canada and Singapore. Her career spans different industries from law, healthcare, technology and social services. Moonlake has degrees in journalism, law, and business. She has also been an angel investor, been involved in a real estate collective sale and is a value investor. Moonlake finds fun and learning moving in entrepreneurial circles and is a recreational runner.
When did you get diagnosed?
I was diagnosed late with ADHD when I was 50 years old. Not exactly the typical age for an ADHD diagnosis!
What was life like before diagnosis?
Life was chaotic and too intense! At the time that I was diagnosed, I was juggling too many things.
I was working in a tech start up with a steep learning curve. I was organizing an industry conference in 1.5 months, travelling up to twice a month for other commitments, training for half marathons, attending weekly choir rehearsals and Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), supporting my daughter through her O-level exams, and visiting my late mother-in-law in a Hong Kong hospital on weekends during the protests. It was all too much for me, and I wished to be able to unlock more productive hours in a day as I was so stretched. That is when I decided to seek a diagnosis to see if helped me to cope better.
What was life like post diagnosis?
Life did not miraculously change overnight. However, some significant shifts in my life occurred post-diagnosis.
✅ I finally had the context to understand my past, and why I kept moving every few years to a different role. I was trying to find the right fit for my wiring. I also understood the inconsistencies in my academic past, especially when I was younger, where I would yo-yo from being in danger of heading to the “C” class before pulling up my socks and getting into the “A” class but then falling back into the “comfort” of being in the “B” class. I had simply no idea of how to study in a more structured way, and found numbers challenging.
✅ My relationship with my husband improved as I realized that some of my ADHD symptoms (e.g., time blindness, impulsivity and distractibility) would trigger negative responses in him, which would then spiral into disagreements and resentment. When he realized that some of these issues were not “character flaws” but part of my wiring, he became more patient and compassionate. I also worked on managing these symptoms better.
✅ Most importantly, I now have more understanding of my ADHD wiring. I embrace the strengths that come with being neurodivergent while also working to improve the challenges I face. I feel more whole as a person and have more self-compassion, self-awareness and self-confidence. Being compelled to step up to champion ADHD awareness and create support systems to enable ADHDers and their families to thrive, makes life more meaningful – I do believe I have found my ikigai (reason for being) and my purpose in life – to “uncover diamonds” that lie in each and every ADHDer.
What do you think are your greatest ADHD strengths?
✅ The ability to see the big picture and how the different moving parts can fit together. The Clifton StrengthsFinder describes this strength as the “Arranger.” My tendencies for “mash-ups” and putting people and things together are part of my ADHD creative strengths.
✅ Persistence. I am one of those individuals who will keep going despite the odds…. just in case something changes! That said, if there are clear reasons to change course, I am also rational enough to do so.
✅ Resourcefulness. I am able to turn over almost every stone to find a solution for problems. It is tiring but the “eureka” moment is priceless!
✅ Energy. I am relatively high energy and thus able to get many things done which would tire most people… I do have moments of tiredness but those are fewer.
How do you manage ADHD in daily life?
✅ I take ADHD medication consistently and have regular sessions with my therapist/ADHD coach. In addition, I ensure that I make certain lifestyle changes to create a more conducive environment for myself, e.g. regular exercise, daily reflections/devotions, reduction of sugar/carbohydrates, increased water intake, and better sleeping habits.
✅ At work, I communicate with my team on my challenges and how to support me – e.g. regular reminders, time blocking meeting times, task lists and putting in more structures.
✅ For my personal life, I ensure that I have a solid group of close friends whom I can bare my soul to, and whom I know will be there to support me through life’s ups and downs. I am also blessed to have a supportive family and a trusted domestic helper of 20 years who knows exactly what is needed to be done to keep the household running smoothly. My faith is also something that keeps me going in tough times and gives me hope and strength.
How would you advise your younger self?
I would share with her not to let other people’s comments affect her, and to be more comfortable with who she is – she is enough. I would also encourage her to learn more about herself – her strengths, things that make her happy, and lean into it.
Complete this sentence: ADHD is……
ADHD is part of who I am, and it makes me uniquely me. I would not have it any other way.
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