Reviewed by Andrew Wan
14 years after her first book documenting the effect of ADHD on marriage, Melissa Orlov has a second book with practical advice to couples on how to make the best of a marriage with ADHD. This is based on her past decade of experience counselling couples in person, as well as responding to numerous questions on her online forum on ADHDmarriage.
The first chapter is a discussion on medical treatment options, which includes the discussion of various ADHD medications, their benefits and side effects. The chapter emphasises that the decision to take medication lies with the person with ADHD, but it is a decision that has great implications for the rest of the family.
The rest of the book is much more practical in nature. For example, the earlier book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage, identifies anger as a dominant factor in many ADHD marriages. This book now talks about how to deal with the anger such as ways to have constructive rather than destructive fights, and how to step away from a fight to let things cool, or to let the partner who is flooded, to calm down, before re-engaging. Most of these resolution methods require both partners to be actively working together to be effective.
There are also lots of examples drawn from questions that Melissa has received, or counselling sessions that she has done, where she will make observations about how one or both of the parties has certain pre-conceptions that are not helping the relationship, and how they need to reset their view of the relationship before things can move.
This is certainly a useful book to read, following Melissa’s first book. It provides additional insights into how each partner’s response to ADHD in the marriage can make things worse through a wide range of scenarios, and practical steps that can be done in many cases to improve the relationship.
To read the review of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, click here
Note: Unlocking ADHD earns a commission as an Amazon Associate from qualifying purchases made by our visitors on the affiliate links we share. All links have been independently selected by our content team and/or recommended by our community. Every little helps to fund our operations so that we can continue to provide services to the ADHD community. Thank you for your support.
Leave a Reply