Redefining Strength
Tahirah Mohamed is a mother of nine whose ADHD diagnosis in her 40s helped her reframe decades of self-doubt and exhaustion. Once seen as distractible or quiet, she now recognises her adaptability, empathy, and perseverance as strengths. Alongside parenting, she advocates for greater awareness of ADHD in women and families, sharing her journey of resilience and compassion while managing daily life with creativity and faith.
Quotes
“Your overthinking heart, hyperactive brain, and deep feelings all have purpose. One day, you will help others through the lessons of your chaos. Life’s not a sprint, and your journey isn’t meant to look like everyone else’s.”
“ADHDers are part of the SG60 spirit -resilient, creative, and full of heart. With space and patience, you’ll see that being different isn’t a weakness. It’s one of our greatest strengths.”
Early Signs and Diagnosis
Looking back, ADHD was always there. I just didn’t have the name for it. I was the kid who couldn’t sit still and daydreamed a lot. But I learned to mask it, especially as I grew older and became a mother. I thought I just had to try harder, be more disciplined.
Even when two of my children were diagnosed with ADHD, I didn’t connect it to myself. It wasn’t until my 40s, after years of mental exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, and feeling like I was failing at things others managed so easily, that I began reading about ADHD in women. It was like the fog lifted, and I could finally see.
Challenges and Turning Points
One of my biggest challenges was the constant feeling that I was falling behind, especially as a mother. I carried a deep fear of failing my children. My mind was always juggling a million things, and I often felt overwhelmed, jumping from one idea to another.
I was later diagnosed after taking part in an ADHD research study. Learning more about how ADHD shows up in women helped me see myself more clearly. That was a turning point. I realised I wasn’t lazy or impulsive. My brain just works differently. That insight gave me relief and allowed me to shift from self-blame to self-acceptance. From then, I began learning to work with my brain, not against it. That’s where the real growth started.
Strategies for Daily Life
Over time, I’ve had to discover what works for me rather than copying others. Visual tools help such as colour-coded calendars and wall planners. I rely heavily on phone reminders and alarms to track tasks and time. Breaking things into small steps is key, because small tasks are less overwhelming. I also give myself permission to rest without guilt.
For mental clarity, I do “brain dumps,” writing everything down to organise my thoughts. When I’m overstimulated or drained, I step away – listening to music, tending plants, or walking in the park.
Faith is also my anchor. Prayer and stillness remind me that I don’t have to do everything perfectly. Rest, I’ve learned, is not weakness but self-care. These small strategies ground me and help me show up as my best self, especially with nine kids and much more on my plate.
Strengths and Achievements
One of my proudest achievements is raising nine children while staying true to myself. My children inspire me to help other parents and children with ADHD, ASD or mental health struggles.
The journey hasn’t been easy, but I’ve realised what I once saw as struggles, are strengths. My ADHD mind makes me adaptable, intuitive, and empathetic. I can sense my children’s emotions, switch gears when plans collapse, and find creative solutions on the fly. ADHD has also given me perseverance since young, I’ve had to work extra hard to keep up.
Keeping my family grounded, emotionally supported, and moving forward is my greatest achievement. I may not have done it in the “typical” way, but I did it my way, and that’s powerful enough.
Advice to My Younger Self
Dear younger me, not everyone may understand you, and that’s okay. You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You just have a brain that dances to a rhythm the world doesn’t always hear.
Your overthinking heart, hyperactive brain, and deep feelings all have purpose. One day, you will help others through the lessons of your chaos. So, stop beating yourself up. Pray, breathe, and pace yourself. Life’s not a sprint, and your journey isn’t meant to look like everyone else’s.
Changing How the World Sees ADHD
ADHDers are part of the SG60 spirit -resilient, creative, and full of heart. With space and patience, you’ll see that being different isn’t a weakness. It’s one of our greatest strengths.
We might sometimes be “blur like sotong” or forget “makan” appointments, but like Singapore, we keep adapting and moving forward. Different strokes, same unstoppable spirit!
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