Redefining Strength through ADHD
Bernadette Loh is a lawyer with a heart for volunteering and charitable causes. Since recognising her ADHD in 2021, she has reframed her journey with resilience and self-compassion, learning to see beyond the harsh labels she once gave herself. In 2025, she marks four years of awareness, celebrating progress, perseverance, and the strengths that ADHD has helped her uncover.
Quotes
“I’m proud of the fact that I’m still persevering. The journey is slowly showing me that I am none of the degrading adjectives that I previously described myself with.”
“Living with ADHD has given me an intimate familiarity with chaos… I can gather numerous data points that help with pattern recognition. While stressful, this makes me feel ready to take on anything thrown at me.”
“For the first time, I realised that the right support could help me thrive”
Epiphany
I first began to connect the dots in July 2021, when I met Moonlake Lee through a mentorship programme. For the first time, I felt like I didn’t have to slow myself down or apologise for my “jumping trains of thought.” Moonlake understood me completely, and it was such a relief. With her encouragement, I read more about ADHD and, later that year, went for an official diagnosis. The answer was clear: ADHD.
Turning Points
Looking back, I realise ADHD had been part of my story for decades. I had experienced depressive symptoms since the age of nine and was formally diagnosed with depression in my twenties. I chalked up my struggles to either “teenage hormones” or “The Depression.”
School was especially difficult. I couldn’t focus, I fidgeted constantly, and without the language or knowledge to explain my behaviour, I ended up labelling myself: abnormal, defective, lazy. Those words stayed with me for years.
One major turning point came during my bar examinations. For the first time, I applied for accommodations – extra time and a quieter room. I worried it wouldn’t make a difference, since I had always struggled with exams. To my surprise, it changed everything. I achieved two distinctions and tied as the fifth-highest candidate in my cohort. For the first time, I realised that the right support could help me thrive.
Strategies for Success
Since my diagnosis, I’ve developed ways to work with my ADHD instead of against it.
- I keep a digital calendar on my phone’s home and lock screens, with reminders set at least an hour in advance. It helps me manage time and reduces stress about being late.
- I practise mindfulness daily. Some days it feels like a struggle, but it grounds me and helps me let go of distractions. On the hardest days, medication provides the extra support I need.
- Physical activity has become essential. With the help of my personal trainer, I stay accountable and push myself to get stronger. Exercise tires me out in the best way, keeping my restlessness in check.
- Most importantly, I rely on my support network. My loved ones are patient and kind, gently nudging me when I lose track of tasks or time, and extending grace when things go too far.
How ADHD Helps
ADHD has given me resilience. I know what it’s like to live with chaos, both internally and externally. That’s why outside noise or crises don’t shake me as easily as they might others. I’ve practised navigating disorder my whole life, and I’ve developed a quiet confidence that things will work out.
Hyper fixation, too, has its silver lining. Even when it’s on the most random topics, it distracts me from spiralling and teaches me something new (such as how demodex live in or near our hair follicles). And with pattern recognition, I can connect data points in ways that help me anticipate what’s coming.
Most of all, I’m proud that I’m still persevering. ADHD has shown me that I’m not the degrading words I once believed. I’m capable, determined, and still growing.
Advice to My Younger Self
Please hold on. There will come a day when the pain eases, when life doesn’t feel as heavy as it does now. And when that day comes, remember how hard you fought to get here, so you’ll always stay compassionate, introspective, and ready to lend a hand to others.
Where I Am Today
Today, I can honestly say, “I’m good.” I work as a lawyer, and I dedicate time to volunteering in the mental health space. I’m engaged and planning a future with my partner as we wait for our new home. And I share my life with Kiwi, my pet terrapin, who loves snapping at rocks to show off her strength—always making sure we’re watching.
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