Embracing ADHD as a Journey of Strength and Self-discovery
Elena is a Counsellor and Psychotherapist, with a Masters in Psychotherapy at Therapeutic Space. She has a special interest in supporting neurodivergent individuals and families. Prior to becoming a mental health professional, she founded a company that made activity boards and furniture for babies and toddlers. A former creative, she was a motion graphics designer and art director conceptualising commercials, films and video production. She is currently exploring her creative side through Chinese ink painting and ceramics.
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“There is no denying that being an ADHDer is hard. Embrace that identity and narrative with strength, so you define what it is for you.”
“Diagnosis brought relief and validation. It felt like liberation, a homecoming. Suddenly, there was a language for my experience.”
First Awareness of ADHD
ADHD showed up mostly in primary and secondary school. As a kid, I was slow to understand concepts, a daydreamer, and I didn’t have the patience to sit through lessons, and homework. The people I knew who had ADHD were very different from me – I wasn’t hyperactive or “all over the place”. So, it didn’t occur to me that I had ADHD until I was in my 40s after I got married and had my child.
A long-time friend shared that she was planning to study counselling and suggested I consider it too. She thought I was a good listener, non-judgemental, and well-suited to the work. When I was studying to be a counsellor, I decided to write a paper about ADHD so I could understand it better, because my husband had said that he had been diagnosed with it. Then I realised that the characteristics sounded a lot like my experience too.
Through Unlocking ADHD, I heard about the NUH brain scan study to diagnose ADHD in adults. Over the years, I’d noticed a shift. I found myself struggling with tech (something I used to geek out on), fatigued after outings, and just not as sharp as I used to be. Signing up for this research was a total gamechanger for me. Diagnosis brought relief and validation. It felt like liberation, a homecoming. Suddenly, there was a language for my experience. There was clarity and a real shift in perspective and reframe of my personal narrative. I am flawed, but not in all the ways I thought I was.
Key Challenges or Turning Points
After becoming a parent and leaving my post-production career, I spent a long time struggling to find something that fit with life as a new mum. I started a company, Busyboardies, which made activity boards and furniture for babies and toddlers. ADHD helped with the creative and making side, but not the business side. Administration (executive functioning) was the real bottleneck. I was stretched thin, and I tried to save money by doing almost everything myself. Eventually, it led to burnout.
Strategies for Peak Performance
I have tried many things and while some work, they don’t always last because novelty wears off and of course, there is the attention sustainability. A tidy work desk helps me, as does medication. I also discovered foam earbuds help filter out environmental sounds that can be unknowingly distracting.
My calendar is also updated regularly, and I have also found Motion very good at helping me with the other tasks I don’t remember to write down. I also started texting myself on WhatsApp, with quick to-do, brain dump, random thoughts I want to explore or reminders. Time for myself to explore interests/ hobbies that are meaningful to me helps to recalibrate with the demands of real life.
Proudest Achievement
My proudest achievement is that I am still here, still evolving as a person. I am not defined by who I was or used to be. I am lucky that my “useless” skills have found useful means. That innate curiosity that was the start of countless random fixations, good at everything but nothing skills. The ability to think divergently is an absolute asset in this day in age.
Advice to Your Younger Self
There is no denying that being an ADHDer is hard. But by embracing that identity and narrative with strength, we can define what it is for each of us personally. And then, we are not defined by what other people’s definition of what ADHD is – one that often comes with shame. Stay curious.
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