From Struggles to Self-Compassion
Isabella Lam, a polytechnic student studying Early Childhood Development and Education, discovered she had ADHD while in primary school. Once labelled troublesome, she has turned her journey of hyperactivity, inattention, and misunderstanding into one of resilience and growth. Today, Isabella balances her studies, part-time work, and volunteering with the Red Cross Society Singapore. She embraces her creativity and energy, and her story is one of transforming challenges into strengths through self-compassion and support.
Quotes
“The greatest growth came from learning self-compassion. I stopped comparing myself to others, accepted my different path, and began asking for the help I needed.”
“If I could advise my younger self, I would say: never be afraid to open up about your struggles. Asking for help is a step towards progress.”
Early Struggles
I was diagnosed with ADHD in Primary 5, though teachers had already labeled me the troublesome student for years. I often blurted out questions before anyone could finish speaking, got distracted easily, and found it hard to connect with my peers. My curiosity and energy ran high, but people often misunderstood me.
Managing hyperactivity and impulsivity was my greatest challenge. I often acted recklessly without thinking, interrupted conversations, and talked excessively. My fidgeting and overexcitement made others avoid me. Emotional dysregulation made things harder — I overthought, spiralled easily, and cried often. Classmates labelled me “attention-seeking” or “helpless.”
My inattentive side added another layer. I was forgetful, disorganised, and prone to procrastination. Simple tasks felt overwhelming, and burnout became routine. In secondary school, these struggles strained my relationships further. I was ostracised, bullied, and even cyberbullied. Some classmates mocked me by calling me autistic, and the names, abuse, and isolation left me traumatised. Over time, I grew self-conscious and pulled away to protect myself from getting hurt again.
Finding Support and Self-Acceptance
A turning point came with my diagnosis and the support of Special Education Needs Officers and school counsellors. For the first time, I understood that behind the chaos were symptoms of a neurodevelopmental condition. That realisation gave me relief and clarity.
Through counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy, I learned strategies for communication, organisation, and managing symptoms. I discovered that ADHD didn’t make me broken — it made me different. With support, I began to see my potential and connect with people who truly understood me.
The greatest growth came from learning self-compassion. I stopped comparing myself to others, accepted my different path, and began asking for the help I needed.
Discovering My Strengths
Living with ADHD has revealed hidden strengths. I can hyperfocus on activities I love, like sewing and crocheting. I have a strong memory for details, recalling information visually as if it were a picture.
I’m also kinesthetic — I learn best by using my hands. My high energy, once criticised, now helps me in my part-time F&B work, where I enjoy serving customers with enthusiasm. During my free time, I also volunteer as a community first aider at the Red Cross Society Singapore.
Academically, I’ve learned to simplify complex problems: ADHDers complicate simple things, but we also simplify complicated things. Over time, I’ve received awards like the Good Progress Award, Edusave Merit Awards, and the Edusave Scholarship. These milestones remind me that creativity, energy, and resilience are as valuable as grades.
Living with ADHD allowed me to empathise with others. I am always attuned to subtle shifts in people’s tone of voice, facial expressions and body language, knowing what’s going on if something is not right. Spending a lifetime navigating challenges allowed me to relate my experiences with others whose are struggling—compassion and understanding.
Strategies for Daily Life
To manage ADHD, I combine structured tools with personal hacks. I take medication, attend counselling, and use planners to stay organised. I stretch or walk outdoors to regulate myself, journal to process emotions, and keep fidget toys like squishies nearby.
Other small practices also help: I take fish oil to improve focus, drink matcha to stay alert, and keep myself motivated with handicrafts. These strategies don’t erase ADHD, but they give me confidence that I can live with it more positively. Most importantly, I let close ones know about my challenges so they can step in with support when I need it.
Reflections
If I could advise my younger self, I’d say: Never be afraid to open up about your struggles. Asking for help is a step towards progress. Confidence and self-worth matter more than perfection.
To me: ADHD is something I was gifted with and I should never feel ashamed of it. I am not disabled, I am differently abled.
My journey has been full of setbacks, but also resilience, creativity, and compassion. Today, whether through studies, work, or community service, I want to remind others with ADHD that they are not alone — and that their differences can become their greatest strengths.
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